dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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