You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So many bounce houses so little time
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
