Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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