I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
