I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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