Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
