When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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