pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
