So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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