I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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