ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
