No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
