I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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