you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
