Tell her she can't have a vagina
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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