no, he came in my armpit
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize