Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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