Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
