I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
