I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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