Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
