on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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