Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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