he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
