Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
