i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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