Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
