i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
