So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
