Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
