And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
