I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
