I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
