I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
