u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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