Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
