I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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