I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Shame - the story of my life.
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