Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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