i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
