Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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