I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This house was built for laser tag.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
