My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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