How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize