You work out of a Hotel?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
