he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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