hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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