you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
In America we eat man semen.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize