Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
