i just wanna soil my oats bro
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
