You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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