Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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