Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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