Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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