there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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