naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
