So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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